Part 2 Feedback #1

Open
opened 2022-02-28 05:05:30 +00:00 by cadey · 0 comments
cadey commented 2022-02-28 05:05:30 +00:00 (Migrated from tulpa.dev)

This is my first time doing this kind of writing, I expect it to be kinda rough.

story is nice, impl could be better

calm. Anxiety is a bitch, she thought.
[..]
It was morning: another day, another battle.
probably too explicit. you have this elaborate story and you're basically just like holding your plans for the rest of it with this

If you wanna do well, don't go it alone."

grammar

That's totally not ominous, Alicia thought to herself.

reads a bit weird and inconsistent vs > No, now's not the time to worry, she

> This is my first time doing this kind of writing, I expect it to be kinda rough. story is nice, impl could be better > calm. Anxiety is a bitch, she thought. > [..] > It was morning: another day, another battle. probably too explicit. you have this elaborate story and you're basically just like holding your plans for the rest of it with this > If you wanna do well, don't go it alone." grammar > *That's totally not ominous, Alicia thought to herself.* reads a bit weird and inconsistent vs > *No, now's not the time to worry*, she
Sign in to join this conversation.
No Label
No Milestone
No project
1 Participants
Notifications
Due Date
No due date set.
Dependencies

No dependencies set.

Reference: ebooks/spellblade#1
No description provided.